we have pet lesbian snakes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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