Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
