I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
