there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
