so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
