My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
