Who wears a wallet chain?!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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