I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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