so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize