you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
