I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
