oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
