Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
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I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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