Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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