this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
