perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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