Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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