: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
