she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
