thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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