he puts the penis in happiness.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
