who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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