You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
