Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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