she smelled like a LAN party
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's never too late to be topless.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
