No period for spring break; use this wisely.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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