Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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