i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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