Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
