as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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