I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
