my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
