ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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