I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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