You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
