living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
