I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
