We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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