We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
