she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
