Plan B is the new Plan A
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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