Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize