i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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