They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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