i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
