Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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