umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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