i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
