Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
