My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
