and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
