great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
