No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
