Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
only you would photoshop your dick
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
