sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
