didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think I won the penis lottery.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize